It’s obvious that 2020 has not been a great year for the lot of us, due to….. honestly there’s countless reasons why this year has been absolute chaos. I really took January and February of 2020 for granted. I was in my last semester of undergrad, I was in the process of my health journey, I was happy with my dating life, honestly I had a lot going for me. In addition to actively working with my internship, participating in school events, and working part time, I was content with how I was spending my time and who I was spending it with. However, when covid hit everything went downhill. I stopped dating someone I really liked, I had my last ever undergrad classes in my bedroom, I lost opportunities with my internship, and I unexpectedly moved back to the Bay Area after living 6 hours away in Orange County for the past 4 years. I could go on and on about why 2020 has been such a bad year for all of us, but I want to share what I did in my time in self isolation and how all these radical changes flipped my life around.
In March, I never pictured Covid to be as big of an issue that it has become. I was naive to think I would be coming back to school in April and everything would be normal again. However, with this newfound time to myself, I found myself taking up old hobbies I had abandoned because I figured I so busy. I started singing and playing the ukulele again, tried new workouts at home, tried to learn new tricks on my skateboard; hobbies I haven’t thought about in a while. And for a moment, I was content. Rediscovering the simple pleasures that made me happy without the help of anyone else. This happiness was short-lived however, as before I knew it, I graduated. In my bedroom. Nearly 17 years worth of education for me to finally graduate from university and yeah, I got my degree in the mail, but all I really got was an email from my university reassuring the class of 2020 that their graduation is not “cancelled” but “postponed” to who knows when. At this point I don’t know if it was Covid depression or post-grad depression but let me tell you, the sadness hit HARD. This, on top of a death in the family (non-Covid related), a drastic move 6 hours away with no formal goodbye, quitting my job of 2 years, all around the time I turned 22 was pretty heavy. I was helping my mom working part time back home, putting my career goals on hold since I was hoping to work in special events, and of course the industry collapses since there were suddenly no more events. I was suffering from a crisis of questioning if I regretted my entire college career and career path now that I graduated into a dying economy with no job lined up. I fell deeper and deeper into a hole that felt never ending, I had thoughts I never had before, and I wasn’t even able to hang out with most of my friends due to quarantine. As time went on, I began to accept that this was my new reality and that I couldn’t keep wallowing in my own sadness that nearly everyone else may be experiencing as well. Instead I decided to be grateful. Grateful that I spent the bulk of my college career with no regrets. Grateful that I was even able to graduate in 4 years with a double major. Grateful that neither myself, or my parents caught Covid. Grateful that I have a roof over my head and a functioning laptop to participate in this new virtual society. I realized that I can’t just give up because I’m sad. I have so much more to offer. As of September of 2020, I am officially moved out of Southern California, I have a couple interviews lined up relating to my major, and I actually am excited to start over in a place that felt like home a few years ago but is now totally new to me again. I may be reaching in saying that these past couple of months were a blessing in disguise but the least I can do is take advantage of my situation and make the best of it.